What I want to do

This passage came to mind today as I thought back over the past couple of weeks and tried to come up with something encouraging to write:

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out... for what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing... In my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
Paul, in Romans 7

It's been a pretty lazy, selfish week or two, if I'm honest about it. And the funny thing, as I was discussing with a friend on the phone a few days ago, is that selfishness doesn't tend to actually get us the results we want. We want joy, fulfillment, peace, purpose, and comfort, but we turn from the Source of every good thing and try to meet those needs elsewhere. It's selfish because it does not seek first to glorify God, but it's also futile, leaving us bitter and unsatisfied. The truly self-serving choice would be to take up our crosses and seek God's kingdom first, losing our lives for a short while and thereby gaining every worthwhile thing in this life and the next.

I take comfort that Paul expressed my very feelings so very well. If a man used so mightily by God struggled with these same things, God is truly able to redeem any life. I rest in His grace.