Addiction to fiction

You're bringing into focus
my addiction
to fiction
My succumbing to the siren-song
of someone else's life
Just how easy it can be
to lose myself
mis-invest my wealth

to waste the minutes
(and miss the Moments)
investing time and interest
in pixel-fabricated quests.

Will I one day wake
and wonder at the fact
that I've missed my own path
forgotten entirely
to bring to life the history
You had in mind while dreaming me?

(My own, complicated travels
may take more than ninety minutes to unravel
but the salt of sweat
and iron of blood
is real--
Never let me forget what it is
to feel.)

But bless You, You're pursuing me
wooing me
into marriage with reality
Gritted-teeth commitment to face here and now
with shoulders squared, feet firm on the bow
and arms thrown wide
I'll laugh with the sea-spray on my face
give thanks to You in every place
open my eyes
and enjoy the ride

Father, let Your voice
narrate the mysteries
wilder than fiction
truer than history
I'll let Your love-song
be the soundtrack to my life.

Epic

I'm restless again. The part of me that resonates deeply with epic stories gets stirred up from time to time, so that the routine and the mundane become like shackles I can't wait to shake off and run far and fast just because I can, and to know that I can. I try to satiate the restlessness with travel, with physical challenge, with new mental territory. Always beforehand it seems like just the right journey will cure it, just the right new mountain to climb will call it satisfied. But I'm learning that it's my innate connection to a greater epic, and it won't be filled by anything this earth can give.

I serve the God that has placed eternity in the hearts of men, and has also kept it, for the time being, just out of their reach. Cruel? Maybe it seems so, but it's what keeps us striving, keeps us alive. If we could grasp it so quickly, what else would there be to live for?

At this juncture, and every time I come to this place again in this life, the only answer is to dive into the One who tantalizes us with a loftier purpose than anything satiable. The epic is dear to His heart, and He is the greatest storyteller... I will burrow deeper into Him and await the unfolding, knowing that He will fulfill what is in His heart and what He has placed in mine.

2012, or Positioned for Greatness

I slept enough last night (after drifting off while meditating on the throne room) and woke up early this morning (drifting back into awareness through the same place). I woke up with joy and anticipation, ready for work and for life. Two weeks of interruption from the routine have refreshed my gratitude for it-- I can't wait to see my sweet and quirky kiddos today, I forgot how inspiring and refreshing my friends and housemates are, I forgot how good it feels to wake up in your own bed and know where the makings for coffee are.

Laura Hackett sings about grace and forgiveness and how Your kindness is so much greater than we know. You've been calling me into more, showing me the potential You've put in me and letting me know You're ready to release it if I'll only show myself willing. In this very house sleep some of the best possible companions for the journey.

I am rested, awake, refreshed, renewed in perspective, and taking ten minutes to cradle a cup of coffee in both hands while I ponder Your love and how it is mine and brings all things into my reach. In rest and quietude and peace, seated in Your lap, I am positioned for greatness.

With inspiration and resolution comes an intensifying of the battle, but I want to live this year from this place. Seated in Your lap, I am in the heartbeat of the action, but I am safer than I could ever be on the sidelines.