Living and learning

This weekend is my birthday. This week I went through and either archived or deleted all 3000 (yes, with three 0s) emails in the inbox of the Gmail account I have had for just over four years. Both occasions give me cause to stop and reflect a little.

Item 1: A lot of life happens in a year. Maybe this is primarily the case because I am in that phase of life that is a constant transition from one thing to the next, but wow. A year ago I was graduating from college, pretty certain of three things: I was going to live in Chicago for the foreseeable future, I was going to be a teacher for the foreseeable future, and I knew who I would spend the foreseeable future with. All three of those things came true, but the foreseeable future turned out to be much shorter than I had anticipated. I'm learning to say "Lord willing" and not to make big declarations about things I don't know.

Item 2: I have some incredible friends. With as many moves and changes as I've had in my life over the past 6 years, I've found myself wondering from time to time who my real friends are. There are some that fade away and slip out of contact, but there are some that have begun to shine through as those that will always be there. They've been with me at my best and at my worst, they've been the constants in periods of turmoil and transition, and they have proven trustworthy and faithful. Thank you, friends.

Item 3: Hindsight really is 20-20. The emails made this especially clear. I see myself making mistakes, and then making those same mistakes over again, and then staying in mistakes way longer than I should ever have stayed. In the moment, it's so hard to see clearly and so hard to know which way is up. Lord, help me to learn from my mistakes, to be patient and deliberate, and not to lean on my own understanding.

So here comes 23. Year two of post-graduate life. What does it hold? I have some ideas, but I'm striving to be patient (see Item 3) and not to make any big declarations yet (see Item 1). I'm hoping for a lot more growth, a little more wisdom, and maybe even some direction for the future.