It's funny how quickly a month flies by when one's routine is interrupted, but I am back now. After a few weeks of travel (oh, blessed time!) and another week of adjusting to a new job, my days of quiet reflection, reading, writing, and prayer seem more distant than they ought. My new schedule, still changing, won't allow for quite the same amount of introspection as the old one, but I do hope to maintain a few of the disciplines briefly explored during that time. Continue to check here for the fruit.
The purpose of this blog is not to provide a narrative of my life, so I will keep the personal details brief, but I would be remiss to skip over them entirely. The Lord has blessed me greatly over the past few months with opportunities to spend time with friends both new and old and to be encouraged and renewed. I have met new circles of friends in North Carolina, Chicago, Belgium, and Germany, and have been reunited with other friends: a dear partner from my ministry three years ago in Costa Rica and, at long last, my best friend, "the one whom my soul loves." Returning from these journeys, I found myself with a job that, while not perfect in every way, will pay the rent until I can find something better. God is faithful, and someday I will learn to give up guessing what is coming my way next; reality always surpasses anything I can invent.
As I return to Chicago and begin to settle into somewhat of a routine, with most of this year's many travels and transitions behind me and a long, perhaps lonely winter approaching, I struggle to find a sense of purpose. In talking with the aforementioned best friend earlier today, I found myself exclaiming, "I just don't feel like I'm doing anything!" I meant doing anything worthwhile, accomplishing anything for the Kingdom, and I was quickly reminded of a comment this friend had made a week or so ago. To paraphrase, he said that "it's not the things we're doing, but the type of person we're becoming, that matters to God."
This is a hard truth. I do things well. I love to do things. I have a resume over-full of things I've done and a to-do list of all the things that would, in my eyes, make my life "worthwhile." But, without the depth of character, that caliber of gold that can only come through refining fires, our acts and gifts and deeds are nothing but a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
Who are you? What type of person are you becoming? What caliber of person have you already become? Can you stand before the Lord, works set aside, and say you are satisfied in the work He has done in your character?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment