What you are, what you have, is enough

There's a bit of insecurity and social awkwardness in me that comes out from time to time, especially when I find myself anticipating transition. Regardless of how far I get in life, how many positive experiences I have in new places, and how many times I successfully begin friendships, preparation for moving to a new place inevitably finds me nervously trying to figure out who I am. Or who I'm going to be in this new place. I'm a twelve-year-old girl moving to a new junior high school, looking for the opportunity to reinvent myself.

I'm heading to Scotland in a few weeks' time, hoping to volunteer with a YWAM base of intimidatingly hip and beautiful musicians and lovers of Jesus, reaching out to other intimidatingly hip and beautiful musicians and artists. And I've spent the last six months showering by sticking my head under a tap, shaving my legs on a bimonthly basis, putting on three or four boldly and differently patterned items of clothing in the morning, looking in a four-inch-wide mirror and thinking, "Hey, not bad!" I'm not sure I remember how to be Western anymore, leave alone hip and beautiful, or if I'll even be able to understand people with Scottish accents in the first place.

At least, that's how I feel when I'm being irrational.

So this morning, I came to Jesus, and He reminded me of the same thing He told me when I came here six months ago. "What you are, what you have, is enough. Your experiences, your relationship with Me, your heart itself... you don't have to be or do anything. You are enough."

And I remembered that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and my story is unfolding in a fearful and wonderful fashion, and I am loved by and in love with a fearful and wonderful God. And the same is true for all of the hip and beautiful musicians and artists, and everyone else that is wondering how to inhabit a world full of hip and beautiful people. We are, all of us, fearful and wonderful bundles of flesh and blood, heart and nerves, spirit and soul and history, sharing a world with each other, being Christ to one another, glorifying Him by our very being. We are fragile and vulnerable and wide open to dangers, and we impact each other for better or worse, and when we love each other, we bring His Kingdom and see His face.

And so now I'm less intimidated by the mysterious people and more in awe of how this all works and how I get to be a part of it and how He walks through it with me. I'm excited to go to Scotland.