Oh for grace to trust Him more

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
Oh for grace to trust Him more
-Louisa M.R. Stead

This one has been running through my head off and on for weeks. Actually, it's been running through my head off and on since I first heard it some number of years ago. On countless occasions, burdened in heart and unable to express what I feel, this has been my song.

I trust You, Jesus. I've tested and You've proven Your faithfulness time and time again. You're precious, Jesus. Give me the grace I need for more trust in You.

Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus
Just from sin and self to cease
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest and joy and peace

Days like today, I long to set myself and my failings and worries and strivings all aside and just let Him fill me with all He offers-- life and rest and joy and peace, held out freely by a loving hand.

Another thought I often return to is from Thomas Browne:

If thou could'st empty all thyself of self,
Like to a shell disinhabited,
Then might He find thee on the ocean shelf,
And say, 'This is not dead',
And fill thee with Himself instead.

But thou art all replete with very thou
And hast such shrewd activity,
That when He comes, He says, 'This is enow
Unto itself-- 'twere better let it be,
It is so small and full, there is no room for Me.'

I have a vague memory of writing or referring to this poem at some point in the past and having an argument arise over whether Christianity means dying to self in the sense of individuality and becoming an automaton, and whether there is any worth to such a practice. That is not the point that I (or, I think, Thomas Browne) want to make. Indeed, I would argue exactly the opposite, that truly following Jesus means truly coming into the fullness of your specific, God-given individuality. My point is this: if Jesus is life and rest and joy and peace, and I am, at the moment, frustration and worry and work and anxiety, how much would I love the grace to set myself aside, take His self up, and trust Him a little more!

Joy as a lifestyle

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

We quote Paul's words from the fourth chapter of Philippians all the time. But I'm struggling to live it today. Joy is a choice, not a feeling. It is a lifestyle, not an emotion. Paul writes these words in chains, in isolation, suffering for the Gospel. Are your circumstances worse?

Rejoice in the Lord at all times.

Hallelujah

"Hallelujah, hallelujah... whatever's in front of me, help me to sing hallelujah."
-Bethany Dillon

It's certainly been a week. A lot of things I thought were settled have become unsettled, things I thought were finished have become unfinished, things I thought were certain have become uncertain once again. It could have been an awful week. I could have cried a lot more tears than I did (granted, I did cry some). I could have become bogged down and overwhelmed and frustrated.

But, by the grace of the Lord, I instead spent the week becoming deeply acquainted with peace. Tangible peace, sweet peace, peace like a river. I'm back in a place (should be dear and familiar-- or at least just familiar-- to me by now) of having no idea what the future holds more than 6 months out from where I stand. I don't love this place. But I love Jesus, and I do trust Him, and I know what I need to do. Micah 6:8 again-- do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with my God. Not out in front of my God, not where my God tells me to go, but with my God. Study His word. Listen for His voice. Walk with Him throughout my days. Hallelujah.

And yes, whatever's in front of me, help me to faithfully sing hallelujah.