Guided by a God outside of time

"God, outside of time, has already faithfully provided, even though my eyes are limited to the present circumstances."
-A much-needed encouragement from a friend today

I wait and wait for the future to be unfolded before me, hoping for certainty, for guidance as to the next step, for any sign of where to go or what to do or how it is all going to come together.

But even as I feel trapped in inaction, God knows and is already guiding me to where I need to be. Trust is my portion, and faithfulness in what He has given to me for now.

Seasons changing

"For years I have dreamed of a life that would allow me ample time to read and reflect and pray and meditate for hours about things of the Lord, and at the same time I have consistently filled my schedule with busyness and proceeded to wonder why I never have time to develop all of the spiritual disciplines I pray for... I don't know how long this time will last. But I do know this: I enter every situation in life purely by the grace of Jesus, and the only appropriate response is to live it for His glory. So I will strive, in this time of empty days, of hours and hours stretching out before me, to build the discipline I never had before."
- from my first entry in this blog, August 8, 2009

10 months and 100 entries later, and the seasons are changing. I have found myself scrambling these past few weeks to get my feet under me. My days of empty hours and unlimited solitude are drawing to a close, and new things are on the horizon (though still far enough away that I can only watch and wait until they come into closer focus). But the wind is picking up, the tides are changing, and off I go.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under Heaven."
-Solomon, in Ecclesiastes 3:1

I have loved this season. I have loved the hours of silence, prayer, delving deeper into God's Word, depending on Him to supply the needs the world could not meet. It has been a time of rest and healing, of training, of preparation, of building habits that I pray I will carry with me on the next leg of the journey. May I greet the future with the fondness I have for the past.

Doing our part and letting go

"Be strong and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in His sight."
-Joab to his brother Abishai, in 1 Chronicles 19

Maybe this isn't the most commonly referenced story in all of Scripture, but there's a principle here that hit me today. Joab and Abishai prepare their armies and agree to give the battle everything they've got for the sake of God. At the same time, they also accept that their resources are finite and the ultimate outcome is in the Lord's hands. Are there circumstances in our lives where we could be putting this into practice? I know I tend to either try to take it all into my hands or take a fatalistic view and resign myself to whatever happens. I think, though, that the key to this is in the balance. Isn't it always?

Boasting of the future

"One who puts on his armor should not boast like one who takes it off."
Ahab, in 1 Kings 20: 11

Ahab certainly isn't the Old Testament king with the cleanest record or the most upright life, but he got at least one thing right. No matter how certain we are of the odds, we must wait until the battle is finished before we claim the glory of the results. Let us be patient and humble, preparing ourselves for what is ahead rather than claiming to know it already.

The gift of uncertainty

"My part is to receive whatever He gives. Guidance for a decision that need not be final until next Wednesday may require one small move or commitment today. I accept that and act on it without haggling with God because He has not yet granted me all the information I'm itching for. Perhaps patience is His gift of bread for today, or quietness, or the gift of uncertainty, that I may rest in His love, confident that when the time is ripe, the guidance will be clear."
-Elisabeth Elliot in God's Guidance

The gift of uncertainty? I'll be honest, I almost chuckled to myself upon reading that part of the paragraph. But the words that follow confirm that it is, or can be, a gift-- "that I may rest in His love, confident that when the time is ripe, the guidance will be clear." Uncertainty is a gift because it disallows self-sufficiency and forces us to wait on the Lord and to actively trust in Him. I say actively trust to distinguish between this kind of trust and another: the everyday, passive trust where we say we trust the Lord, and maybe we do, but we feel we've got a pretty good hold on the present circumstances and the immediate future. Trust, in that sort of environment, is on the back burner. It's there to fall back on, but it's not terribly relevant at the moment.

When given the "gift of uncertainty," though, trust becomes active. God may not give us tangible steps to take or leading in one way or another. It may be that all we are able to do is to trust Him, and trust becomes the action-- every minute of every day, committing our future into His hands and trusting. Taking worries captive and exchanging them for trust. Letting go of the fallback plan and choosing trust as our only plan. It makes me uncomfortable just to think about it. But when we choose discomfort for Christ's sake instead of the immediate comfort the world has to offer, we are given the opportunity to know God's comfort. I trust it will be worth it.

Hallelujah

"Hallelujah, hallelujah... whatever's in front of me, help me to sing hallelujah."
-Bethany Dillon

It's certainly been a week. A lot of things I thought were settled have become unsettled, things I thought were finished have become unfinished, things I thought were certain have become uncertain once again. It could have been an awful week. I could have cried a lot more tears than I did (granted, I did cry some). I could have become bogged down and overwhelmed and frustrated.

But, by the grace of the Lord, I instead spent the week becoming deeply acquainted with peace. Tangible peace, sweet peace, peace like a river. I'm back in a place (should be dear and familiar-- or at least just familiar-- to me by now) of having no idea what the future holds more than 6 months out from where I stand. I don't love this place. But I love Jesus, and I do trust Him, and I know what I need to do. Micah 6:8 again-- do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with my God. Not out in front of my God, not where my God tells me to go, but with my God. Study His word. Listen for His voice. Walk with Him throughout my days. Hallelujah.

And yes, whatever's in front of me, help me to faithfully sing hallelujah.