The day-to-day

I've now been in Uganda for a week and a day, which is a little hard to believe-- feels like a lifetime. My computer is broken, which is both a good and a bad thing. We have wifi on the base, and if I had a functional computer I think I would likely spend way too much time on it. The way it is, I can use my iPod to read emails (and write short ones), and then I can borrow a computer from time to time to Skype, blog, and write lengthier emails. So it's the weekend, and most everyone else has headed into town, and I'm staying back here to catch up with the outside world. All this to say: get used to several blog updates in a couple days, and then nothing for a while.

I'll start with the easiest things to describe-- the day-to-day life.

5:30 a.m. Wake up, wash face & brush teeth, get dressed and bundle up a little-- it's been cold in the mornings!

6:00 a.m. Head outside for quiet time. It's still dark at this point, so I go and find a quiet spot to sit and pray and wait for the sun to rise. Lately I've been sitting on the edge of the (red dirt) basketball court, overlooking the soccer fields, forests, hills, villages, and Lake Victoria. I sit and pray for a half hour or so, watch the consistently breathtaking sunrise, listen to the monkeys and crickets and unfamiliar birds, and ask God what He has for the day. Once the sun is up, I read a bit-- I've been reading in John and Proverbs in the Bible, and My Utmost for His Highest. So good.

7:30 a.m. Breakfast. We have two white bread rolls, with either margarine or homemade peanut butter (my favorite), a banana or a hard-boiled egg, and a cup of spiced milk tea.

8:30 a.m. Worship or prayer time, either as a school or as a whole base. My favorite so far was when they had each nation represented (10 total) come forward and lead a worship song from their own country.

9:30 a.m. Lecture. We've had a speaker from America this week, but each week will be someone different. The lectures have been so good, so challenging and inspiring and informative. I feel like each day this week God has brought up something that has completely transformed my thinking and living in one area or another. It's so hard to believe it's only the first week!

11:00 a.m. Break tea. I don't know why it's called "break tea" and not "tea break", but it is what it is. We have another cup of milk tea or instant coffee and another roll or bread and butter or mandaazi (like a less-sweet donut) or something similar.

11:30 a.m. Lecture. There's so much information that it's really nice to have that break in the middle.

1:00 p.m. Lunch. Lunch and dinner are usually very similar, a combination of four or five of the following: rice, pasta, potatoes, posho (a mash of white corn flour cooked in water), matoke (cooked green bananas), beans, cooked cabbage, avocados, pineapple, watermelon, and very occasionally some sort of meat (I think we had lamb last night) or my favorite: chapati. Chapati is a fried flatbread, kind of like a thick, flavorful flour tortilla, only a thousand times better.

2:30 p.m. Group time. Later on, this will be small groups to discuss what we're learning in the lectures, but this first couple of weeks we're staying together as a large group. We sit in a big circle and each person takes a turn to share their life story. With 43 people ranging in age from 17 to about 40 years old, coming from the US, UK, Austria, Czech Republic, South Korea, Congo, Rwanda, Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda, this is an amazing time of getting to hear such different stories. Wednesday was an especially powerful time. In many East African cultures, public displays of vulnerability or emotion are very uncommon, and people instead keep things to themselves and just say they are fine. But on Wednesday, several different Ugandans shared their full life stories, heartbreaking stories, even in tears. If we're starting a precedent of that kind of openness in the first week, I can't wait to see what God will be able to do with this group over the next five months of sharing life together.

3:30 p.m. Work duty. We haven't started this yet (we get one week as a guest), but we'll be helping clean or garden or cook or do anything else around the base that needs to be done. I've never hoed a garden in a skirt before-- it's an interesting prospect.

5:30 p.m. Free time. This can involve napping, singing, talking, reading the 10 chapters a day we're supposed to read from the Bible, playing basketball or soccer or frisbee, or teaching the Africans any of a number of great games such as spoons or Uno. Always a good time. I've been singing lots, and yesterday had a ukulele lesson with a Tanzanian guy (I was teaching him).

7:30 p.m. Dinner. Basically the same as lunch.

8:00 p.m. After-dinner activities... sometimes a social event (this week we played duck duck goose and bobbing for apples) or worship time, sometimes an unofficial dance party to the Lion King soundtrack, you really never know.

10:00 p.m. Lights out. However, it is on very rare occasions that I am still awake at 10. I generally end up falling asleep sometime between 8:30 and 9:30.

On being

We dropped through the clouds and Lake Victoria slid into view. The hills and jungles came into focus, rusty red clay and deep green banana trees. Cattle and goats surrounding the runway, unimpressed by the jet landing thirty feet away from their heads, and it all came back to me. I love this place.

The transition is hard. I'm constantly surprised and a little taken aback by the range of emotions I experience in any given hour. I love this place, but I miss so much about home. I'm enjoying getting to know the people here, but I don't know them yet, and I don't know how to share this experience with them. Everything is new. I have to be humble and have quite a sense of humor about it all: Excuse me, sir, I don't know how to fill up my water bottle... can you help me?

There's still so much I don't know about the coming eight months. Right now, especially, as we wait for everyone to arrive, there is no schedule, the schools are all on break, and there's really nothing to do. The Western mindset rebels against this: get on Facebook! Watch a movie! Make a to-do list and then do all the things on it! Go out for coffee! DO something!

But when you push past this (like dropping through the clouds), there's gold to be found. We (as Westerners) have lost the ability to just be. I'm finding it again. Reading, meditating, praying, singing, talking, but also just being, with the sun on my feet and the stickiness of humidity on my skin and the smooth clay dust on my fingers and the unfamiliar birdsongs in my ears. Wherever I end up after all the adventures, I want to know how to be.

Grace in my heart and flowers in my hair

And there will come a time, you'll see
with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart
but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see
what you find there,
with grace in your heart
and flowers in your hair.
 -Mumford and Sons

This song just about sums up the transition. Goodbyes are hard. Leaving the familiar is hard, especially when the familiar is also wonderful.

But it's worth it. It's worth it to love, even when it makes the goodbyes harder. It's worth it to take a risk, even though there's that moment of limbo before the path becomes clear. It's worth it to go full-tilt after the dream.

Right now, I can't quite see over the hill in front of me. I'm exhausted-- mentally, physically, and emotionally spent. On my flight to London, I found myself trying to muster up the strength to be... something. To be ready, or prepared, or enough, or excited, or something.

And then I realized that I have what I need. I am enough. He, in me, is enough. I don't have to be anything other than myself, exactly where I am.

So, with grace in my heart and flowers in my hair, I will climb this hill of goodbyes and letting-go and transition, and I will see what worlds I find beyond it. I'm not quite excited, at the moment. That's honesty. But I have what I need, and I'm trusting the process. Easy and safe were never part of the promise, but the promise is good.