Uganda & Kony 2012

 For the past fourteen months or so, Uganda's been on my heart again (I spent two months there in 2007). Since last May, I've been praying about the possibility of returning there for a longer period of time, and since June I've been looking into opportunities with YWAM Uganda (www.ywamuganda.org). Since August, it has been my hope to head to Uganda at some point in 2012 for a discipleship training school (DTS)-- a six-month school that starts with three months of studying Scripture and the character of God and how He relates to the situations found in Uganda, and then continues with two or three months of outreach as a means of blessing communities elsewhere in East Africa.

So that's my background. I don't claim to have a ton of authority, but I love Uganda, and I have a little more experience with and personal investment in the country and the people than your average American 20-something-year-old.

That said, I was very intrigued when a video about Uganda and its struggles began showing up all over my Facebook page a few weeks ago.

Having looked into it a little further, here's where I stand. I'm obviously all about ending the use of child soldiers and sex slaves. But I'm also about doing it in a real, transparent, Christ-like, holistic, lasting way. I do appreciate Invisible Children's work in just plain getting the word out. But my heart is to see people really look into the issue beyond the user-friendly, one-time-only involvement fads, and find a way (be it praying, going, giving, advocating/sharing/speaking up) to contribute to lasting change.

If your heart has been stirred up by the Kony 2012 video and the very real heartbreak of the people of Uganda, praise God. Do a little research, and find a way to contribute to an organization that's there on the ground, operating in a sustainable and realistic, practical, transparent way, seeking to rebuild and sow forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing rather than vengeance.

You can start by reading the following articles for a little more information and inspiration, and practical places to start.
 
A good basic rundown on the situation in Uganda and the Invisible Children organization
A beautiful perspective by an amazing woman on the ground in South Sudan, just above the Ugandan border
A follow-up from the above woman (Michele Perry) with action steps
One more resource for information on IC, the reality of Uganda, and practical ways to help

You

The more I want you
the more I am determined
to have you and only you

Because I desire gold
I am tempted with all things that glitter
but you are worth the waiting

I will not numb my senses
with counterfeits and half-measures
I will wait for you.

Having done all, to stand firm

Even as we await the outcome, we can praise You in the midst of the furnace-- praise You that You stand with us even in the fire, praise You that we are being refined, praise You that the breaking point is higher than we imagined, that we are made of stronger stuff than we imagined, and certainly of stronger stuff than when we began.

I need righteousness more than I need to be right
I love Your wisdom more than I love my own light
So I lay me open before You
I lay me open, coming just to implore You
Search me, O God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxious thoughts
Test me and see if any wicked way there be,
I lay me open, I lay me open.

Praise You that You are just and wise and merciful, slow to anger and rich in love. Praise You that You discipline the ones You love, allowing hardship and hurt and confusion to refine us, but not to ruin us. Praise You and proclaim that, whatever the outcome, You are good and Your mercy endures forever.

Addiction to fiction

You're bringing into focus
my addiction
to fiction
My succumbing to the siren-song
of someone else's life
Just how easy it can be
to lose myself
mis-invest my wealth

to waste the minutes
(and miss the Moments)
investing time and interest
in pixel-fabricated quests.

Will I one day wake
and wonder at the fact
that I've missed my own path
forgotten entirely
to bring to life the history
You had in mind while dreaming me?

(My own, complicated travels
may take more than ninety minutes to unravel
but the salt of sweat
and iron of blood
is real--
Never let me forget what it is
to feel.)

But bless You, You're pursuing me
wooing me
into marriage with reality
Gritted-teeth commitment to face here and now
with shoulders squared, feet firm on the bow
and arms thrown wide
I'll laugh with the sea-spray on my face
give thanks to You in every place
open my eyes
and enjoy the ride

Father, let Your voice
narrate the mysteries
wilder than fiction
truer than history
I'll let Your love-song
be the soundtrack to my life.

Epic

I'm restless again. The part of me that resonates deeply with epic stories gets stirred up from time to time, so that the routine and the mundane become like shackles I can't wait to shake off and run far and fast just because I can, and to know that I can. I try to satiate the restlessness with travel, with physical challenge, with new mental territory. Always beforehand it seems like just the right journey will cure it, just the right new mountain to climb will call it satisfied. But I'm learning that it's my innate connection to a greater epic, and it won't be filled by anything this earth can give.

I serve the God that has placed eternity in the hearts of men, and has also kept it, for the time being, just out of their reach. Cruel? Maybe it seems so, but it's what keeps us striving, keeps us alive. If we could grasp it so quickly, what else would there be to live for?

At this juncture, and every time I come to this place again in this life, the only answer is to dive into the One who tantalizes us with a loftier purpose than anything satiable. The epic is dear to His heart, and He is the greatest storyteller... I will burrow deeper into Him and await the unfolding, knowing that He will fulfill what is in His heart and what He has placed in mine.

2012, or Positioned for Greatness

I slept enough last night (after drifting off while meditating on the throne room) and woke up early this morning (drifting back into awareness through the same place). I woke up with joy and anticipation, ready for work and for life. Two weeks of interruption from the routine have refreshed my gratitude for it-- I can't wait to see my sweet and quirky kiddos today, I forgot how inspiring and refreshing my friends and housemates are, I forgot how good it feels to wake up in your own bed and know where the makings for coffee are.

Laura Hackett sings about grace and forgiveness and how Your kindness is so much greater than we know. You've been calling me into more, showing me the potential You've put in me and letting me know You're ready to release it if I'll only show myself willing. In this very house sleep some of the best possible companions for the journey.

I am rested, awake, refreshed, renewed in perspective, and taking ten minutes to cradle a cup of coffee in both hands while I ponder Your love and how it is mine and brings all things into my reach. In rest and quietude and peace, seated in Your lap, I am positioned for greatness.

With inspiration and resolution comes an intensifying of the battle, but I want to live this year from this place. Seated in Your lap, I am in the heartbeat of the action, but I am safer than I could ever be on the sidelines.

Abandon and dwelling

God has been updating my vocabulary lately, changing the primary meaning of words that have long defined me. Case in point: abandon. Previously a fear that kept me from building my life on the solid rock, preferring instead to keep all my ambitions, hopes, and plans safely on my own back. If He abandons me, what happens? Better to carry the weight myself than to invest it all in one place and risk losing it when He loses interest. Lately the change has been from fear of abandonment to reckless abandon. Jesus' blood never failed me yet, so the new default is to trust Him, assume that He'll act according to His goodness and love in all situations, and operate out of that place.

Dwelling is another. I've always been one to dwell, especially on mistakes and accusations-- one harsh word the only thing necessary to send me careening into guilt and self-doubt for the foreseeable future. I've spent years striving to live above the need for correction, and often opting out of risk-taking in order to preserve myself from the inevitable mistakes. Confrontation, advice, negative claims (whether false or accurate) about me, all adding up to failure in my mind. I have failed to please, failed to love well enough, failed to work hard enough, failed to be enough. Now I dwell in Him. I am enough because He is enough and I am His. There's nothing else worth dwelling on.